The Beginning!!!

Hello Everyone... The starting up of this BLOG actually took a long time to complete. Why do the easiest tasks seem so complicated??? This is my very first post. I may not post every day, but I'll try my best not to stay away for too long. I want to start off by saying this summer has been a learning experience for me!!! I have had loved ones taken away, made friends, and lost friends at the same time. I believe that everything happens for a reason, but why is it so hard to figure out what those reasons are. I am 24 going on 25 years old, and I’m still learning so much about myself. One thing I have come to realize over time is… I have a tendency to push good people away. I usually believe I’m helping ME, but honestly I’m hurting MYSELF!!! I want to find love; however, it’s hard when I unconsciously make everyone out to be the bad guy. I run because I’m afraid of being hurt. I met a guy this summer; it happened fast and then it ended fast. He was everything I’ve dreamed of and more rapped into this perfect package. TALL, DARK, and HANDSOME!!!(And I mean it!) I pushed him as I do everyone else. If I could take it all back, I would. But I doubt he would give me the time again. I still think about him a lot. We never got that chance to actually get to know each other. I so wish we could start all over from day one. I feel I honestly pushed the situation with him when I should have just let things fall naturally into place. I honestly miss him!!!(Tear)… Gosh, I want to see him so bad, but I did this to myself. Hopefully one day soon I’ll have the courage to call him and hopefully it’s not too late. I want to let him know that I’m sorry for what I said, and that I’ll never do it again. I know it may seem that I’m chasing him; I don’t care because he’s Too Good to let go of. He says he’s not good at relationships on account of his career, but what if I’m that one person that could change all of that. I honestly believe I can make him happy. I didn’t know I was going to fall for him so quick, but it happened and I can’t help the way I feel. If he ever reads this I hope he knows that I’m sorry!! I know now that I hurt him; I know I can’t take back what I said, but I have faith in knowing I can show him that it will NEVER happen again… TTYL